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About bullies: 

  • Bullies are children who make poor decisions based on their understanding of the world.
  • Common thinking styles among bullies include a lack of personal power, a negative self-image, poor communication skills and general unhappiness. 
  • Children bully to fulfil a need. They get something out of it.
  • Bullying is not always logical.
  • Some bullies try to justify their bullying behaviour by blaming the target or stating the target deserves it.
  • Bullying is always about the bully and not the target.
  • To make their bullying attempts successful, bullies select children who they judge are bullyable.
  • Bullies look for children who look like they can be bullied.
  • Bullies use information such as a child’s posture, body language, voice, eye cues and their social connectedness within the school to guess how bullyable a child is.
  • If there is no obvious reason to bully a child, the bully will make one up.
  • Bullies are often disempowered, feel like they are different or separate from other children, lack social and communication skills, and do not like themselves or their behaviour.
  • Part of the solution to bullying is to hold bullies accountable for their behaviour, regardless of how it is received by the target.
  • There are two main ‘types’ of bullies: children who know they bully, and children who have no idea how they affect the people around them.
  • Punishing the behaviour of bullies does not change their beliefs. Part of the solution to bullying is to help bullies empower themselves so they don’t have to bully anymore 
  • As more adults understand the bullying experience, and how to encourage children to be Unbullyable, more will be able to support children who want to stop bullying.
  • We can teach our children to become Unbullyable, and how to be empowered to choose who they are and how they treat others.
  • We can teach children how to not bully in the first place, or how to stop bullying and choose again.