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- Bullies are children who make poor decisions based on their understanding of the world.
- Common thinking styles among bullies include a lack of personal power, a negative self-image, poor communication skills and general unhappiness.
- Children bully to fulfil a need. They get something out of it.
- Bullying is not always logical.
- Some bullies try to justify their bullying behaviour by blaming the target or stating the target deserves it.
- Bullying is always about the bully and not the target.
- To make their bullying attempts successful, bullies select children who they judge are bullyable.
- Bullies look for children who look like they can be bullied.
- Bullies use information such as a child’s posture, body language, voice, eye cues and their social connectedness within the school to guess how bullyable a child is.
- If there is no obvious reason to bully a child, the bully will make one up.
- Bullies are often disempowered, feel like they are different or separate from other children, lack social and communication skills, and do not like themselves or their behaviour.
- Part of the solution to bullying is to hold bullies accountable for their behaviour, regardless of how it is received by the target.
- There are two main ‘types’ of bullies: children who know they bully, and children who have no idea how they affect the people around them.
Punishing the behaviour of bullies does not change their beliefs. Part of the solution to bullying is to help bullies empower themselves so they don’t have to bully anymore.
As more adults understand the bullying experience, and how to encourage children to be Unbullyable, more will be able to support children who want to stop bullying.
We can teach our children to become Unbullyable, and how to be empowered to choose who they are and how they treat others.
We can teach children how to not bully in the first place, or how to stop bullying and choose again.